Life is intense. No question about it. Some days it can feel like too much. Our world has become a constant fight or flight stress test and the root of all of our stress and overwhelm is fear. Fear of not having enough, of not getting it all done, of missing out, of being judged, fear about our children’s futures, our health, their health, losing our loved ones, the list goes on and on . Confidence Coach Laure Redmond joined us to share someways to combat and overcome the fear:
- Figure out what is behind your fear curtain Behind every fear-thought is a core need that was not met or validated in the past. Once you begin to identify these negative seeds, you can begin to transcend these old mindsets with functional steps (new seeds) that validate and support your present needs.
- Ben nor Jerry nor Robert Mondavi have the answers Your body becomes so familiar with this fearful (stressed out!) state that it begins to feel normal. Yet your central nervous system wants relief from this way of living and it will do anything to get that balanced feeling. So … most people reach out for the quickest and most accepted solutions: another glass of wine, or a pint of ice cream, or shopping, or keeping yourself ridiculously “busy” or watching hours of TV. It is way better to invite these unsettling feelings to the party then to cover them up, write down exactly how you’re thinking and feeling during these related moments of stress - that’s when you can learn to notice your fear-based thoughts as visitors, not as invited guests.
- The feelings won’t kill you You might feel awesome in the morning and horrible in the afternoon. Thoughts and feelings come and go. Remember that they don’t define you. Understanding the full spectrum of your fear can transform triggers into insights. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but it helps to comprehend why you’re interpreting your experiences in limited ways. For example, if you’re dealing with mistrust, ask yourself if you expect others to take advantage of you; this can help you realize that your feelings are overriding what’s really happening.
- Give “it” a name Once you identify your self-consciousness (fear) and figure out what is keeping you from living the life you want, you have the ability to recognize the familiar pattern and give it a name. This reduces the power “it” can have over you. You can then choose to express “it” through art, music, dance, journaling or another form of healthy self-expression. Real change happens when you are willing to accept and identify (name) your dysfunctional fear-based concepts and take responsibility for your behavior as it relates to them.
- Make your bed Create joy and simplicity in your work/home environments. If you leave your dirty dishes in the sink, or your bedroom looks like a horders basement, you will come home to the same state of mind in which you left. Push against the overwhelming feeling of wanting to give up - make your bed and wash the breakfast dishes; the order and cleanliness will help you feel better and in control of your precious life.
- Actualize Your Healthy Perceptions Creativity, passion, joy, faith, and healthy relationships are the most powerful things in life. Focus on these things, don’t allow your fears to have more power than anything else. Fear doesn’t deserve to stand between you and your dreams, think of it as a roadblock that only YOU can change. Create your NEW story.
You can listen to Laure on "Feel Good Naked Radio." For more helpful information, visit Laure's website. She's also available for private coaching for individuals or groups.