Licensed Clinical Psychologist Alex Bloom, Psy.D., stopped by to help us ACE our way to a fireproof relationship:
Research shows that to cultivate successful relationship longevity it takes 5 positive comments to every 1 negative comment and having more negative to positive comments can predict divorce. Sound daunting? The key is to "Prioritize Positivity" and it's easier than you might think. ACE your way to a fireproof relationship.
1) Appreciate: Before going to bed, have you and your partner complete the following exercise together by asking, "What are 3 good things that happened to me today?" Or make a game between you two to see who can spot the most of what's going well with the other person or what you appreciate about them the most.
2) Celebrate: Intentionally look for times you can join in with your partner's successes and praise him for the win. Surprisingly, the most trusting relationships are distinguished by how the partners respond to good news not the disappointments and losses.
3) Enjoy: Our brains hold on to the negativity in our lives like velcro and we have the positives slide off like Teflon. This is called the negativity bias. A strong way to combat this is to bring mindful attention to the "goods" in life, however small. Savor! When your partner puts their arm around you, gives you that wink that warms you from the inside, or makes a delicious meal. Bonus points in you can share your inner experience with them.
Best part is you two don't have to do these things every single day. Even a few times a week can help the relationship significantly!