Confidence is having a strong belief in oneself with no uncertainty of your own ability. It is the key to achieving your personal and professional goals. It provides the support you need to push past the fears of failure. Psychotherapist and life coach Didi Zahariades, MA, contributor to the new book, The Confident Woman, joined us to share the "how-to" of raising your confidence with 4 simple steps to success:
- Strong Personal Belief There is extreme power in your thoughts & beliefs. Confidence is defined as "having no uncertainty about one's own abilities." It is literally a belief, which translates to your personal ability to "believe in you". Often we tackle a project, or problem, and feel unsure of our own ability to succeed. It is a limiting belief which leaves you not feeling confident. The switch is to shift your personal belief into a trusting feeling. When you trust in your experiences and in you; your confidence immediately increases!
This is the confident feeling you experience when you know it will go well. If you believe something is not possible, then you are right! This is not to say you may not have occasional doubt in your abilities. You will have days that lead you to feel less confident, but it isn't going to be the emotion you hold on to. Let it pass; let it go and then return to building the confident you. "This will pass" is an important thought in your belief system.
- Visualize Consider creating a "Mental Map" for your confident self. Focus on the situation and SEE it occur successfully! Take the time to visualize being a confident person in each (and every) situation. This doesn't occur overnight or even after a few practice sessions. This is visualizing you as a confident person achieving your goal in detail several times until it becomes so comfortable that of course you'd be confident!
This is the technique of professional athletes. Visualizing success is common practice. You can be a winner in your own game of life in the same way an Olympians practices for the Olympics.Or the Sea Hawks in their drive to the Super Bowl!
- Think with your Heart Your heart holds your intuition which is often more right than wrong. When you think with your heart it encourages you; believes in you; and will give you a positive push! It is a feeling which is immediate, strong, and has the ability to really get you going. If you fall into the trappings of "thinking with your head", you may get trapped in an analysis-paralysis which may cause you to lose confidence. This is when you talk yourself out of something because "you can't do it"; "you don't have enough experience"; "she will say no"; and all the other fears which expand with time. Your heart asks you to take action!
- Regulate Self Talk When you see a confident person; you can almost be sure she is spending more time saying nice, positive comments to herself than she is belittling, demeaning herself. A day when you are in a bad-mood, is often a day when your attitude is being driven by your negative self-talk.
Your self-talk is the loudest voice you hear all day. It influences your beliefs and your actions. In fact, it may be the reason you don't take action at all! Stop allowing it to diminish your confidence; instead tap into your inner power and use it as a tool to build your confidence. Thus creating self-talk which says "I can" because "I am confident".
For more information, including details on Didi's new book, The Confident Woman, visit her website.