The author of "Fear is Just a Four-Letter Word" and star of "Million Dollar Listing L.A.", Tracy Tutor chatted about her hit TV series and her new book. Click here for more information about Tracy. "Million Dollar Listing L.A." airs Tuesday nights @ 9 on BRAVO.
Tracy Tutor is a top real estate agent at Douglas Elliman Beverly Hills, consulting with some of the world's leading architects and developers. She is the first and only female cast member on Bravo's Million Dollar Listing LA. The show's twelfth season is set to premiere in May 2020 and run until August 2020. She lives in Los Angeles with her two daughters.
From the first female real estate broker on Million Dollar Listing LA, a no-bull guide to analyzing big egos, deflecting power plays, and taking control of any room.
Behind Tracy Tutor's entertaining on-screen persona is an uncanny knack for projecting confidence in the most intimidating of circumstances. The breezy, tough-talking, utterly inimitable LA real estate broker has rivaled her male co-stars to land increasingly high-profile deals. In "FEAR IS JUST A FOUR-LETTER WORD: How to Develop the Unstoppable Confidence to Own Any Room" (Penguin Random House/Portfolio; On sale May 19, 2020) Tracy leverages her years of experience to provide the go-to manual for women who struggle to convince people they're in charge.
The first step in Tracy's system for confidence is to figure out what people want and how they operate. From there, simply push the right levers of influence. Through candid, hilarious stories of her rise through the male-dominated world of high-end real estate (text message screen shots from creeps included!), Tracy offers a crash course in the psychology of power dynamics and social signaling. She provides:
What five things you should always find out about someone before you're in a room with them
How to communicate confidence with any outfit, even if you're dressing on a budget
The different types of humor you can use to lighten up and empower yourself in any meeting
This book is a must-read for any ambitious woman who wants to learn not only how to be in important rooms but how to run them.
-Big personalities can be hard to manage but by knowing who they are, you’ll in turn know exactly who to look out for and how to handle them. These are the four types of influential personalities Tracy encounters every week: The Powerful Type, The Distracted One, The Insane Creative, and The True Collaborator.
-It’s okay to be a chameleon. Once you have the information of who’s across from you and what’s motivating them, you can adjust your approach accordingly. The goal is to stay true to yourself but be flexible in what parts of yourself that you’re bringing to each situation.
-How to respond to inappropriate behavior. Tracy’s been in her fair share of difficult situations where someone crossed a line. Here’s what you do:
-Be calm but direct
-Cite the business context and say I want to focus on that
-Ask for an apology or set a boundary (“this meeting will be over if you speak to me like that again”)
-Confrontation is a great tool you can use to win when you have to fight someone, or on behalf of someone. Here is the Confrontation Blueprint we’ve all been waiting for:
1. Lead with a question. Give the person an opportunity to explain with “Is there anything you want to tell me?” or “Would you rather I hear this from you or from someone else?”
2. Give space to explain. It’s important to go back through your understanding and perception of what happened with “Tell me if I’m wrong” or “Let me know if this is off”
3. End the conversation. If you find yourself going in circles with someone, and they refuse to be accountable for their actions, you’ll catch them off guard by shutting the conversation down with “Conversation’s over.” or “We’ve talked enough. I’ll follow up in writing.”
4. Follow up in email.
5. Move on.
-Humor has many faces. Use the right one (self-deprecating humor, universal humor, defensive humor) in the right way, and your fear will be kept at bay and your power maximized.
-Dress for an edge. Know what makes you feel good, assess the room and situation you’re walking into (Who’s going to be in the room? Where are we meeting? What are we meeting about? How do I want them to perceive me?), and keep fashion staples in your closet at all times (a well-cut dress, a black blazer, classic pumps, to name a few). Remember that what you’re wearing is never the most important thing, but if it makes you feel unstoppable, then your outfit will give you just the edge you need.
-Embrace your imperfections. Tracy experienced a fast to self-awareness when first appearing on Million Dollar Listing LA. People were judging her marriage, mothering, work, and social life, but by accepting her imperfections, she was humanized and no longer expected perfection from herself.
-Tell your manager what you’re bad at. By having an honest conversation with her superior, Tracy was able to have the support she needed to improve her transition from a one-woman show to an efficient and effective team.