7 Thoughts That Destroy Love

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Habitual thoughts and behaviors create the foundation for a relationship. Toxic thoughts cripple relationships. Confidence Coach Laure Redmond joined us to share how these continuous beliefs are often the precursors to the end of love.

  1. Thinking You're Not Good Enough for Your Partner Chronically nurturing self doubt or believing your partner deserves better can wreck havoc in a relationship. Self-Confidence is vitally important in relationships. On the flip side, it's equally damaging to constantly think that your partner isn't good enough for you.
  2. The "Should" Bomb One partner assumes the other will meet one or more of their needs because he or she should know what that need is. Expecting your partner to anticipate your feelings and needs without verbally communicating these needs (each time) is like asking someone to read your mind. Good communication + listening skills (#7) are imperative for long-term love to last.
  3. What Will People Think Unfortunately we live in a world where public validation and acceptance is no longer a private issue. Assuming that your partners friend circle or family doesn't like you creates paranoia. Even if they don't like you or constantly ignore you on Facebook - stop caring what anyone else thinks. If your partner loves you well, it doesn't matter.
  4. Imagining Scenarios of Infidelity The fear brain has a tendency to imagine the worst, this is our ego's way of insulating us from pain and preparing for the worst. Instead of these damaging images, sit down and have a vulnerable discussion with your partner about trust.
  5. Unfair Labeling Stop mentally focusing on and exaggerating your partners negative qualities. Instead, focus on what your partner does well - everyone appreciates positive feedback.
  6. If Only (He or She) Would ___! These thoughts can include: do the dishes, earn more money, help with the kids, help with the dogs, rub my back, have more fun ... If your relationship is Not working, look inward.
  7. Silence Is Not Golden or Helpful Once you've looked inward and figured out where YOU need to love YOURSELF more, if you still feel unhappy, unmet or unloved in your relationship; it's time to use words to explain your thoughts and feelings.

For more helpful information, visit Laure's website. She's also available for private coaching for individuals or groups.