Choices We Make that Kill the Love

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Falling in love is one of the most exciting things that can happen to a person, but staying in love isn’t as exciting. When love begins, most people are on their best behavior and can’t imagine being annoyed or put-off by the other person, but as time passes, people do things they aren’t proud of, but they end up doing them anyway. Sometimes, these choices kill the love. Confidence Coach Laure Redmond joined us to share the most damaging love bombs:

  1. Pay Attention to Your Words If you often hear yourself saying: “always”, “never”, “should” If your body tightens when saying these words or your tone gets louder and curt; you have turned into a complainer. Although you might be right and your partner might be wrong - right won’t get you more love. Learn how to express your disappointments mindfully and without that blaming tone.
  2. Share Relaxation Sometimes the most relaxing, rejuvenating experiences include time spent alone, which is a great thing; but if you’re in a partnership - it’s also important to relax well together. When starting a new relationship, pay close attention to your different relaxation styles - make sure there is a natural merging so you don’t end up on a trek in the mountains when you really want to be in a hot tub zoning out.
  3. Only Do 50% If you often do more than 50% of anything that benefits both of you; you're doing too much and you’re going to (eventually) get mad. Unless your partner is also doing more than 50%, it’s important to recalibrate the percentages before you blow up at the grocery store over the wrong choice of yogurt. Say Yes to the asks!
  4. Secrets Make the Relationship Sick Secrets, in love, are a strict no. Although waiting to reveal certain truths that carry high magnitude can be appropriate - don’t ever hide from the truth. The truth eventually and always does come out - better to brave the waters instead of omitting the truth. Omission is a form of lying and lying murders the love.
  5. Physical Touch Matters It doesn’t have to be sexual, but it’s healthier if it is - however - it does need to be physical.
  6. 6. Clean Up After Yourself Do NOT pee on the floor! Bathroom habits and manners should be part of the traditional wedding vows. Clean up after yourself no matter what. This is also true in the kitchen, TV room, bedroom and car.
  7. Sticky Fights Don’t let the same fight keep repeating, this is a trap and problems will not get solved since what you’re fighting about isn’t the real issue, it’s a repeat performance of unresolved hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
  8. Holidays and Birthdays Matter A lot - yes, bring home the flowers and the chocolates. If there is no extra cash, paint the picture, write the poem or bake the cake. And - dance together — in the kitchen and at the party or at the wedding — the couple that dances together, stays together. Acts of kindness and true connection say “I love you”.

For more helpful information, check out Laure's Feel Good Naked online radio program or visit her website. She's also available for private coaching for individuals or groups.