Our society is lacking in community these days, there is a notable difference between human and virtual connections. One of the draw-backs to living in such a "connected" world is that you can sit on your couch in the privacy of your own home and have a full-blown virtual relationship with someone living . Confidence Coach Laure Redmond joined us to share how technology has the ability to nurture international relationships and cultivate friendships that might never exist in the "eye-contact" realm.
- Not Everyone Thinks Alike We are all unique individuals, this includes how we understand friendship itself. To some, a friendship is something that needs to be backed by regular contact and visits. To others, friendship means getting in touch whenever it feels right or if it works out. Some friends see life as something to be organized, believing that direct contact can and should be regular. Others feel that life is so unpredictable that we just need to go with the flow.
- Nurture Purposeful Friendships There are friends we have for life and others that come and go. With "lifers'" it’s important to share a conversation (even if by text) to determine how you both feel about staying connected to each other. Figure out how to best nurture these relationships, either through periodic voice to voice or face to face or DM connection time.
- Be Honest Some friends demand too much! They want your time that you don’t have, either because of your career or family circumstances. Being upfront about this is helpful; and this is where social media can provide connection where you can see each others daily unfoldings. Contact, even through Instagram, can be emotional glue that keeps your friendship current.
- Control is Never Good Even though we are connected to others, this is no reason to try to control them. If we have to change fundamental things about others in order to maintain our relationship with them, perhaps we should not be in that relationship. It is important to make an important distinction between :: helping others, and trying to change who they are.
- Confiding vs. Unleashing There’s a difference between confiding in a friend and unleashing all your negativity on them. When someone is using you as a doormat, the entire conversation is about them. There’s no inquiry or genuine interest about how you are doing.
- Time Flexibility If your friend starts a business, has a child, gets a dog, or is taking care of an aging parent - respect the limits of their time! True friendships are supportive of your time limitations. These are also the friends who get your time when your time allows because they genuinely have your back and are happy for your accomplishments and they know how to offer you support through your challenges.
- Love Wins You should be friends with people because you genuinely love them. And because you genuinely love them, you will be there for them. You will put up with their imperfections, listen to their worries and help them out in times of need. If your friend is dealing with something BIG, like divorce, a sick child, career change or death - your job as a friend - is to at least call. As Gibran once wrote: “friendship is a sweet responsibility.”
Laure will be giving at talk on The Gifts of Failure on Friday, September 13 at 6:00pm at the Lake Oswego Adult Community Center. For more information on that, click here. You can listen to Laure on "Feel Good Naked Radio." For more helpful information, visit Laure's website. She's also available for private coaching for individuals or groups.