How to Get What You Really Want in a Relationship

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Humans are programmed for connection, our most fundamental sense of well-being is the conscious sense of belonging and mattering. Confidence Coach Laure Redmond joined us to talk about how our most intimate connections are the ones we grow most accustomed to, however without awareness, it is common to stop noticing the value of this connection. She says ultimately this can cause two people to pull apart, but these steps will help to foster connection before it’s too late:

  1. Collaborative vs. Defensive Resolving conflicts through active listening and collaboration includes: use “I” to explain feelings; the other person repeats back the content and feelings of what you just said and checks in to make sure their understanding is correc; the other person validates your feelings.
  2. Emotionally Mature and Intelligent Be the adult not the child during negotiations and difficult conversations.
  3. Energy Follows Intention If you’re constantly thinking about what you don’t like or want, then the world will conspire to make sure you aren’t going to be happy. Like attracts like, and your thoughts, words and energy are going to send messages. Be aware of your thoughts!
  4. Plant These Words Love, Sacred, Connected, Liberated, Vulnerable, Embodied, Romantic, Delighted, Expansive, Playful, add your own words.
  5. Look in the Mirror Take a close look at your personal expectations and how you react when your expectations aren’t met.
  6. It May Never Be Over, Stop Talking About It There are certain fixed disappointments when two people come together, when these things include family members or mistakes that are ten years old, delete the need to keep bringing it up - or you will definitely not get what you really want. Certain buttons can only be pushed a limited amount of times.
  7. Meet Uncertainty With Faith Not Fear Fear is the opposite of love. There is always uncertainty. Have faith in the unknown and take fear out of the drivers seat.

You can listen to Laure on "Feel Good Naked Radio." For more helpful information, visit Laure's website. She's also available for private coaching for individuals or groups.